A Re-imagining: What This Blog is About

I know what you're thinking: who cares what this blog is about when it a.) never gets updated and b.) rarely gets read.

And you're right. You're totally right. Most likely, people are more excited to get a free 2-liter of soda with a carry-out order than see that I've posted something new on my blog. I'll take that as a challenge.

The new goal of STM: be more exciting than free soda!

It's a pretty tough task, but I think it's manageable. Doable. Exciting. Would you like a soda?

In all seriousness, this blog has warped into something much different than I intended when I first began writing. Since losing my job, I have a lot of time to sit around and philosophize and ponder the mysteries of life, the universe, and everything. I don't have much day-to-day stuff to report for distant family and friends, and I'm not running out the door with a nine-hour shift in front of me to prevent me from reporting. Another nail in the coffin is that being jobless means there is not enough skrilla in the bank to cover all of my lofty DIY ambitions (I had serious plans to build a queen-sized bed...lofty indeed).

Essentially, we are too poor to go out and do things to blog about. Plus, nobody cares about where we had dinner. (Unless I made it and it was extra-spectacular.)

But you're never too poor to go the library, read, and think, and watch lectures and debates. In the last few months, I've been trying to take advantage of the free time I have to Get Knowledge, in whatever form that takes. I've been engaging in debates online and reading lots of books and listening to a LOT of internet radio, and since then I've formed an opinion or two.

So, instead of being a diary of sorts, I intend to make STM a full-fledged blog with diverse interests and posts. Sure, I'll include a general update now and then (hey, we own a cat...it's inevitable that some Buster photos find a home here), but more often I hope to focus on the following:

1. Atheism. The more research I do, the more I am convinced of my need to address issues of faith, public policy, morality, grief, religion, and culture, and add my voice. 
2. Feminism. Up until now, my feminism is something I've pushed under the rug. I get tired of telling people that that doesn't mean I'm a lesbian (as if that is an insult in the first place - I call BS on that nonsense, too) or that I'm a bra-burner or man-hater or anything else. I'll add my voice to this cause if for no other reason than annoyance at being silenced.
3. Politics. Public policy gets me riled, especially in the exasperating state of governance in the U.S.
4. Literature. I might occasionally post short "reviews" or impressions of whatever piece of literature I'm writing.
5. Cat photos. I had this AWESOME idea for a website where people could send in funny pictures of their cat and then add equally funny captions in a funny language. I bet I could make millions...

So that's all for now! Brace yourself for several posts coming shortly. I have several mostly-written that just need a quick edit or two.

Thanks all! If you have any other suggestions for things to tackle, feel free to leave it in the comments.

The Case for an Unbiased Jury

Out of deference to someone I love very much, I've spent part of my last two weeks reading Lee Strobel's "The Case for Christ". I was too young to understand the book when it was first published (1998), but I do remember reading the young adult version in late middle-school/early high school. I read the teen version with the intent to bone up on my biblical knowledge so that I would be more prepared to talk to people "who didn't know Christ"; unfortunately, even at the time I was a little disappointed. The book contained more questions than answers, and I was able to make "well what about X?" or "...then how did Y happen?" observations on my first read-through.

Disappointed that the arguments were either weak or misguided, I shrugged it off, figuring that there would be more Biblical scholars that would one day write their wisdom into a young adult format that would be more convincing than Strobel. And off I went.
This time, I was ready. My brain is fully formed and functional (more or less, amirite?). I know how to research, draft an argument, and gather evidence. I am now more familiar with logical fallacies in order to know where I am being deceived by slippery language. I am more aware of other perspectives and arguments and can therefore see when lies of omission are made. I am in possession of handy argument-building tools like paper, writing instruments, a laptop, the Internet, books, and tea. Lots of hot tea.

I picked up a copy from the downtown library and nonchalantly snuggled down into the couch a few days later to begin reading. I'm excited to see all of the evidence in one place, one handy-dandy package; I'm expecting a quite serious, research-based journey through the evidence for the person of Jesus.

Spoiler: that is not what this book is.

It just isn't.

The reader learns very quickly that Strobel was in no way interested in getting the truth; in fact, the book is entirely one-sided. This reviewer said:

"When I say The Case for Christ is investigative writing at its worst, I mean that it presents a terribly one-sided view of the discussion. Of all the scholars, historians, and experts that could have been interviewed, every single one of the thirteen featured in the book is an Evangelical Christian. Strobel hand picks statements from a few skeptics to present to his conservative scholars, but much of the time the opposing view is given by the author himself, who often throws soft balls and sets up strawman arguments."

Sadly, I found this to be quite true. By the fourth or fifth chapter's worth of doing mental gymnastics trying to justify why Strobel set the book up like he did, I was just too tired to continue. I simply don't understand why Strobel even compelled himself to market the book the way he did: masquerading as investigative journalism when in reality it is as biased as Fox News, pretending to ask "hardball" questions while escaping real contradiction and conflict, and requiring no evidence from his scholars.

Given the organizations that Strobel's scholars are affiliated with (Moody Bible Institute, Liberty University), it is impossible to even suggest that Strobel has thoughtfully presented the evidence for and against the divinity of Jesus in an unbiased manner. His interviewees are fraught with presuppositions and foregone conclusions. Worse still, Strobel abandons any credibility by not interviewing scholars in the appropriate fields. My patience exhausted once I began to read Chapter 8: The Psychological Evidence. Given that Jesus could not be reached for examination, I had to conclude that the chapter had no point at all. Reader Siamang asks Strobel:

"Is your primary audience christians or non-christians? Because I cannot imagine many non-christians would accept a philosophy professor from a bible college to be a better authority on cosmology than an actual cosmologist.

You seem to fancy yourself an expert on Biblical history. Would it be alright for me to interview a professor of economics or law or sports medicine or some other unrelated field who has leaned back in his armchair and puffed on his pipe to determine whether or not the Dead Sea Scrolls are accurately translated? Or should I actually confer with linguists and historians and archaeologists?"

Indeed. Strobel's selection of scholars and method of interrogation is very sloppy journalism. It was hard to slog through.

So, I did my best. I took copious (though not exhaustive) notes through the Introduction, Chapter 1, and Chapter 2. I grew weary of the constant assault to my intelligence and stopped taking notes by Chapter 3. I cycled through frustration, anger, amazement, and disappointment. The arguments were worse than the two- and three-page term papers my 9th graders turned in. I gave it up midway through Chapter 8...it just wasn't worth it.

Strobel bases his entire argument and observations on the assumption that the Bible is an accurate and reliable source (which is why he devotes two chapters to it). If that assumption is incorrect, then his interview with the psychologist who analyzed Jesus' words is moot. Unfortunately, Strobel does a horrific job of proving that first point, and without that foundation the rest of the arguments come tumbling down, like a house built on sand. Each argument was riddled with unanswered questions and/or logical fallacies; there was nary a single statement made in the first two chapters that I could confidently agree with.

Although my initial plan was to give an in-depth analysis of the book as a whole, I think the refutation is more powerful as-is: preservation of the notes that I took while reading. I simply made little stars on some of the more interesting or controversial quotes while I was reading, jotted them down in a notebook, and let it percolate for a few days. Then I returned to it, typed up my shorthand alongside the original quotes I had transposed. From there, I simply expanded upon those initial reactions and drafted them into "points". Some are rather light-hearted and not meant to be taken as serious academic arguments; you can tell by the length of my notes that I was getting tired of repeated myself by the end of it, so those thoughts are not as fully developed as some others.

Part of why I think this "analysis" is interesting is the sheer volume of quotes that I found interesting; I had to restrict myself to two quotes per page, or I would have had a book of my own on my hands. There are some pages that have multiple factual errors or logical fallacies represented; the arguments grew so warped and bloated that it was difficult to discern, specifically, what was wrong with them. As it is, I only took notes through the first 70 pages and have a 14 page Word document, 1.5 spaced with 1" margins. And those are just my notes! Each quote may have been a book or a journal article unto itself.

I've also included a few notes that Bryan made as he read through it; they are the underlined portion.

Find the complete notes at this link.

DIY Sunburst Mirror

Wow.

I can't believe it's been nearly a month since my last posting. Shame on me! I've done a terrible job keeping up with everything, but I've been awfully busy job searching and living and so and so forth. But! Stay tuned for more updates (I may even update the blog again with another post this afternoon with housekeeping-y info).

So! Remember my shortlist of apartment related to-dos here? Well, I've checked another off the list!

The space above our television has been sad and barren since May; the walls in our last apartment were broken up considerably more by the big floor-to-ceiling french doors, so large wall art wasn't really necessary. Now, less doors = more wall space to fill in. So the challenge was to create or purchase something that was imposing enough to fill the space without overwhelming it....or our bank account.

I snooped around on the internet and found this:

(Image and tutorial courtesy of this post from Twenty-Six to Life.)

It was perfect. And cheap. So I thought I'd share my quick-and-dirty sunburst mirror tutorial here. I essentially followed my instinct in combination with some reassurance from the 262L tutorial - it's not much more complicated than stacking some stuff on some stuff with a crap-ton of glue in between. Like a glue sandwich. Mmm.

Materials:

Michael's

18 and 12" floral rings* (in the FLORAL department, not the Everywhere But department)

Craft mirror (depends on the size of the finished product - which is based on the size of the shims - I chose a 10")

*I didn't wind up using the 6" floral ring that the 262L blogger did. I didn't read her tutorial thoroughly and kind of went in headfirst, but since I used a stronger glue I don't think I sacrificed any structural strength.

Home Depot

2 bundles* cedar shims (any size will do - I believe mine were 12". They come in bundles near the building materials section of Home Depot)

Strong glue (in the interest of durability, I bought some Gorilla brand superglue since we didn't have any as well as Gorilla brand wood glue)

*You REALLY only need 2 bundles. I bought three and used 1 and a couple of shims from the other bundle. Totally went overboard with the shims and now I have a bunch of homeless shims. Sad little shims.

Process:

Step One: Assemble your materials. I put down a drop cloth to catch any glue drips and set up a box fan to help the glue dry a little faster.

In hindsight, the drop cloth was really stupid and kind of ineffective. There was a couple of small spots where the glue came through the cloth and onto my nice rug (ok, decent rug...but's it's the only rug of any value that I own!). I would recommend doing this over a scrap of cardboard or something instead. Duh.

Also, peppermint tea is a necessary DIY material. As is Joanna Newsom.

Step Two: Arrange a few shims so that they are roughly symmetrical. (My method essentially arranged the shims symmetrically and then filled in the gaps with the second "layer" of shims.)

Step Three: Keep gluing and filling in the gaps. I was generous but not sloppy when I applied the glue.

This is a great opportunity to show off your Heavy Book Collection, which may or may not expand into your Heavy Anything Collection, as it did for me. I simply kept applying shims and then weighing them down with whatever heavy-ish objects I found lying around. I'd wait a few minutes for the glue to set a bit better and then move on to the next segment in the circle.

Step Four: Enlist assistance from the cat.

The benefits are obvious.

Said cat will run around, overturning your gluey shims and then looking perturbed as he sticks to everything, get cat hair all up in yo' business, and just be a general nuisance and attention whore.

But he will refuse to pose for photos.

Step Five: Once the outer layer is glued on, simply stagger the second layer on top of the first, a few inches more towards the center. It doesn't have to be exact, as the end result will be imperfect because of the materials (the cedar shims proved to be rather irregular, with fun knots, holes, and chips). Just don't go TOO crazy, or it will look wonky.

(Also, I didn't get photos of this part. Whoops. Too busy trying to make Buster ignore me by trying to take his photo.)

When the wood glue is set for both layers of your sunburst, apply glue to the back of your mirror, flip the whole thing over, and set it on top (centered as best as possible). Let that dry until set, and then hang with a brad.

I didn't need to add any hanging hardware because of the way that I assembled the mirror; there were spaces in between the shims on the 18" floral rings that worked perfectly.

I think the mirror is pretty sweet in our place. The thing is massive - 49" across! and came in under $20 (once I return the few things that I didn't use, and if you don't count the Gorilla glue that I purchased to use for other things as well). All in all, cheap, awesome project that just about anyone can do.

I approve.

A standard mid-summer roadtrip...or not!

A few readers may have noticed that I posted photos of the Creation Museum on Facebook a few days ago, and I figured that, at the very least, in conjunction with my previous blog posts, that the trip's timing may suggest that trip was an "ironic" one, meant to mock religious fundamentalists and Christianity at large. Not so! Here's the whole story:

I worked behind-the-scenes at the Creation Museum years before it was finished during a missions trip in 2001 (I think). I don't remember much; they housed us like campers - I slept in the top bunk. We spent the days scrubbing steel I-beams and the nights having Bible study sessions. Beyond that, I remember thinking that AiG was fighting an important battle to save the lost, and they had a model of a triceratops WITH A SADDLE. Somewhere there are a bunch of photos of me, snapped with a disposable camera, posing awkwardly on a saddled dinosaur.

Sweet.

Fast forward to 2011: my belief system has become sophisticated enough to consider individuals beyond my sphere and politics are becoming increasingly testy due to the conflation of conservative Christianity and conservative political ideologies. Since AiG is something of a leader for the conservative/fundamentalist Christian movement (or at the very least, a vocal arm of it), I was curious to see the rationale behind their beliefs.

That said, I will admit (gladly!) that I accepted evolution and dismissed the idea of interpreting the Bible literally while still in high school. For me, the idea of a young-Earth creation was just baffling, even then. What about every rock, fossil, and particle that has been dated, archived, and put on display in every museum I've ever visited? They must be wrong, according to Ken Ham et al. What about the fact that we see visible light from stars millions of lightyears away? I came to the conclusion that the Bible is a very, very old book written almost entirely by men about things that, for the greater part, weren't directly applicable to my day to day life. The words of Jesus I held near and dear, but I didn't so much like the mass murdering, genocidal, spiteful bits.

I was quick to see that the two just didn't mix. One party just had to be wrong. While I have been content the past 8 years with the understanding that science is not part of a giant conspiracy to undermine religion, I am still curious as to how those beliefs are/were rationalized. Like anything, you have to check things out, observe it and examine it for yourself, and then see if the thing holds water. And that's exactly what the roadtrip was about: taking a look for ourselves.

I had decently high expectations for the Creation Museum; I wanted to be shown evidence that I had not yet considered, perhaps a study or a scientific finding that might point to a created universe.

Instead, we encountered an inordinate amount of Guilt, Emotional Manipulation, and Misinformation. On shiny plaques. 70,000 square feet of it. I left the museum thinking that the CM only enforces what its attendees already believe; that will be its ultimate downfall. Unfortunately, skeptics and critical thinkers of any race, creed, or ideology will not be impressed by animatronic dinosaurs or flashy interactive displays. We can see through your Guilt, Emotional Manipulation, and Misinformation.

We're not five years old. We want facts. You can deceive a child with neat movies and pretty pictures (there was plenty of that going on), but a 30-year-old is a little tougher to persuade.

There's a reason this museum is designed for children. They are the only ones who will buy into it.

First off, ticket prices. General admission for adults is $25, plus $8 for the Planetarium exhibit. We decided to spring for the Planetarium because...well, heck, we decided we hadn't been to one since we were kids, and we had fond memories. That's reason enough, right? And it was fun.

At any rate, for Bryan and I the total was a whopping $66; we arrived around 11:00 a.m. and left around 2:00 p.m. For only three or so hours, it was an expensive museum. We didn't exhaust everything the museum had to offer, but the only things we didn't do were a) go to the petting zoo and b) walk around the grounds. Since neither of those things really had much to do with our purpose for going, we decided it was ok to skip.

No bones about it; this was a pretty steep ticket price for a pretty short experience. In addition, since we could get kicked out for just about anything, we were paranoid from the start. The back of the ticket said:

"Any loud, disrespectful, destructive, obscene, or abusive behavior, or inappropriate dress will not be tolerated and will result in your removal from the premises without refund."

Yikes. Talk about being put on the defensive! I had to make sure Daniel kept the baby-eating to a minimum while we were there.

The first thing we did was the Planetarium (no photos taken for obvious reasons); it was a half hour show called "Created Cosmos" mostly devoted to exploring what we know about the size of our universe. It was incredible! The video was pretty cool, and it's always fascinating to imagine the scale of objects that scientists and researchers are examining. Simply the vast scale of our galaxy alone is amazing; the video was a great reminder of that, in a slick package to boot. The only problem was when the video deviated to how the size of the universe proves the existence of God (it does not...this line of thinking is called "God of the Gaps"). Simply because we do not know of everything that exists in the universe or how it came to be is NOT proof of God's existence. It certainly doesn't prove that the Christian God created the universe.

The video spent the majority of it's time with cool graphics and depictions of galaxies, and then suddenly threw in a few very scientific-sounding terms about spiral galaxies and quantum physics at the end. These concepts weren't explained or even defined; I wish I could have remembered the terms in order to research them myself, but unfortunately I was reclining quite extremely in a pitch-black theater and note-taking was quite limited.

On, to "Why Genesis Matters", a talk given by Dr. Tommy Mitchell concerning the relevance of Genesis for today's world. He attested that Genesis is the necessary foundation of all Christian truth, and that you must believe in a literal account of creation in order to believe in Jesus. He stated, though, that accepting creation would not get you to heaven; that something more fundamental was required.

On the whole, though, his talk was shot full of logical fallacies and misinterpretations of groups and individuals outside of Christian culture. He created a false dichotomy between creationists and "evolutionists" and used dangerous, war-like terminology. (I've said, in previous posts, that I am not a fan of using war metaphors for religious purposes. It inserts violence and aggression where it's not acceptable or necessary as well as demonizing the "opposition".) Attesting that secular science is out for Christian blood is just preposterous and silly, not to mention unfair to the professionals that participate in it. Mitchell was emphatic that "secular" science essentially exists to attempt to disprove the truth of creation and to create a world where morality is just based on "what anybody wants".

For example, one of the most shocking bits in the speech was a sentence or two around the abortion issue. Mitchell claimed that, without God, morals are so transient and "arbitrary" that non-Christians believe that abortion should be legal 28 days after the baby is born and that "if you can kill off a baby, why not Grandma? After all, we're all just animals according to their worldview."

This. Argument. Is so stupid. We aren't all degenerate baby-killing machines; Mitchell insults himself by suggesting it in the first place. I wonder, if he needs God that badly, what Mitchell would do without him?

Humans are not simply animals. No person of any religious inclination would suggest that we are purely animal, sent here to eat, poop, and copulate all our live-long days. Mitchell may have missed it, but we are required to live here on Earth with a finite amount of square footage. Together. All of us. And I think all of us would rather make it a pleasant place, together, rather than the dog-eat-dog, amoral landscape that Mitchell painted. Apparently, this is a man who has never even heard of the country of Sweden.

One of the most damaging and harmful pieces in the talk was the combination of vilifying scientists and non-Christians and then the militant disregard for the separation of church and State. He attested that atheists/scientists/humanists are out to get Christians and undermine their faith by teaching evolution in schools (and expanding it to include an entire ideology that evolution does not speak to at all), and are therefore at WAR with these individuals. Mitchell noted that many Christian teens/20somethings leave the church because their questions about science and the creation of the universe weren't being answered thoughtfully or at all by members of the church. However, he kind of shoots himself in the foot by making up answers instead of thoughtfully considering scientific evidence. Mitchell dumps a truckload of guilt onto parents to answer their children's questions (which is a valid and important point! ) by insinuating that it is the fault of the parent that children question and move away from religion later in life. Essentially, he stated that it is a moral imperative to train children while they are still young and impressionable by using the shaky-at-best "evidence" that the rest of the museum had to offer.

There was a lot more to the talk, but I think I'll just throw up a few photos taken through the walking tour illustrating some of the problematic aspects of the museum.

All three of these "clues" have to do with theology and nothing at all about the actual fossil. Apparently, dating fossils and rocks has nothing to do with the fossil or rock itself! The foregone conclusions in the museum are also painfully obvious in this photo (as well as the fact that this is obviously directed at small children).

Again, no actual evidence here, as well as absolute misinformation. There is no way of knowing whether or not the "original words" of the Bible have been preserved, as we do not know what versions we will uncover in the future.

There was also no evidence presented as to the historical details the Bible has proven true.

Hyberbolic language and abuse of "ghetto" stereotypes. This part of the museum was intended to illustrate how the Fall of Man has affected our world today; a godless, immoral, graffiti-filled world, apparently.

Also, never once in the museum was the idea of universal morality, the idea that certain things like lying, cheating, and stealing are considered immoral regardless of religious opinions, given credence. In essence, ever negative aspect of society was presented as a direct result of the lack of Christian influence. More dramatically seen later.

Another example of using/abusing scare tactics. What is the logical basis upon which this would be an exhibit in the museum? For us, this seemed a little silly (along with the huge, blown-up black and white images of a person doing heroin, a mushroom cloud, a bunch of gravestones), but to a child, this would solidify ideas that the outside world is a terrifying place filled with immoral people.

"All humans are related" would also justify incest, would it not? Bendy/twisty logic here.

"God shut Noah's family into the Ark. This ended any opportunity for people outside the Ark to be saved."

Let me make this clear: it was God who condemned an entire population of people that He did not have patience for. The God that you worship. The very idea that a God would condemn his own creation to an eternity of torment without giving them a chance is unfathomably cruel to me.

The last, majestic moments of the Great Flood covering the Earth. Beings who have, allegedly, no power at all in view of God's infinite power, were drowned to death in view of the Ark that could have saved them.

Also, they had to deal with tigers who were also about to drowned. Hungry, man-eating tigers.

This should have been at the BEGINNING of the museum, because that was all it was. And that's why this museum will fail, over and over again, to convince non-believers. Many, many individuals do not care in the slightest what your holy book has to say; we want observable fact.

And not a scrap of it was presented at the Creation Museum. The only justification was, over and over, the supposed absolute inerrancy of the Bible.

This sign suggested that all of the horrible things illustrated in the photo come from human reason. In another room just down the hall, a recording was playing a verse from Jesus talking about how a person should treat others with dignity, including "lepers and slaves".

The thing that makes me angry about this particular poster is that it completely ignores some of the less-than-savory bits of Christian history. If I remember correctly, there are a rather militant group of conservative Christians in funny hats that played a big part in public lynchings. The KKK has existed since 1865. And nobody told Ken Ham.

So, all in all, an utter disappointment from Answers in Genesis ministries. Although I appreciate the efforts to fully believe in the religious text at hand, the methodology and manipulations used was totally wrong and misleading.

Last bit of food for thought: while the three of us in attendance left the museum mystified and troubled, we also recognized the legitimacy of the work that AiG does. Really, in the lens of the religion, they are doing absolutely no wrong by interpreting the Bible literally (even though that requires that they forfeit the right to all human logic and scientific progress). On the AiG website, in the Statement of Faith section that all employees must agree to, I found this quote:

"By definition, no apparent, perceived or claimed evidence in any field, including history and chronology, can be valid if it contradicts the scriptural record. Of primary importance is the fact that evidence is always subject to interpretation by fallible people who do not possess all information."

While I fail to see how human beings could agree to such logic, I also fail to see how moderate Christians could respond to this. Is AiG not simply following the imperatives that the Bible suggests? By the CM logic, either the Bible is all right or it's all wrong.

I agree with them wholeheartedly on that point, and with that I will conclude.

Why I Don't Attend Church, Part II

First off, thanks to everyone for commenting and for reading! The response from the Friendly Atheist community was overwhelming (the post garnered 80+ comments since the last time I checked!) and I was/am thrilled to hear all of the opinions aired. I had minimum expectations when I wrote the blog post; I'm happy that readers "got something" out of it.

Also, I feel that I should clarify one point that many FA commenters noted: these posts are a critique of the way the Christian church functions, not the validity or truth of the Christian faith. That is a can of worms that I would prefer not to open in this forum, nor do I feel qualified to address that issue. While I attended church for twenty years, I am not a theologian; that said, I will leave that argument to the many, many published thinkers and writers who have already expounded greatly on the subject. I will leave the burden to the individual reader to decide what is "true", but go bearing the knowledge that I expect a measured and rational decision after evaluating both sides.

Now, onto the slippery business of criticizing the sacrosanct:

3. The abuse of the power that pastors hold.

One part of my job as an ELA teacher, as I understand it, is to make difficult or previously unknown concepts comprehensible to my students. Allegedly, I know more about rhetorical tropes than a random sampling of 14-year-olds; I am responsible for explaining the relatively difficult idea of metonymy in a way that is understandable, meaningful, and that a student can then apply for herself.

Unfortunately, my experience with church taught me that the same expectations do not apply to pastors.

I have a very limited understanding of the Bible; I have not read every word (although I tried), and I do not have an expansive knowledge of the historical context in which the Bible was written (which greatly affects the meaning we derive from passages). If I were to apply the same principles that I require of a teacher, journalist, or scientist (etc), I would assume that a pastor would be required, essentially, to fill in the gaps in my knowledge and back up those assertions with evidence. A pastor should be able to confidently answer questions like: how do I know what you are saying is true? How do you know that for yourself? Are there conflicting opinions about your statement?

However, in my experience, pastors wield a great deal of influence as to the opinions of the congregation, but rarely deliver sermons that are evidence-based. At all. I racked my brain before beginning to write to try and remember a sermon that I remember being incredibly logical, that appealed to my (very human) sense of reason, but I came up empty. Generally speaking, in my "home church", the sermons followed this rough format:

1. Attention getter. This could be a joke or an anecdote that will transition into the topic of the sermon. Popular themes for jokes are husband/wife relationships, funny crap your kids say/do, sports, religious experiences (like attending a conference), or pop culture references.
2. Reading of the passage. Sometimes the sermon would center on as little as a single verse up to as much as a chapter. Here, the pastor might take the opportunity to highlight what individual words in the passage meant in the Greek, Hebrew, or Aramaic. Usually, the sermon will only discuss the origin and/or meaning of a single word, not the entire verse or passage in context.
3. Application. Here, the speaker will tell the audience what the verse means for their lives today, and, specifically, how their behavior should change. Mark 16:15 "And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature," therefore it is the responsibility of the congregation to evangelize.
4. Directive. The pastor may end the sermon by giving a direct order to the congregation that relates to the message. This is likely to be accompanied by another anecdote or joke to follow the emotional arc of the message (be lighthearted, get serious, get angry, then be lighthearted again). For a sermon on Mark 16:15, a pastor might instruct the congregation to drum up a conversation about faith during lunch at work, or for the high school students to not be afraid to pray in the cafeteria (all so that they create opportunities to evangelize).

There are several problems with this format, the first being that no one has an opportunity to ask questions or verify the validity of these statements. When I stand in front of a class, I have to be prepared to field questions from my students as to why my information is correct. It's not about having "absolute" truth, but about being able to solidly back your claims with evidence.

Which leads into my next idea: Biblical passages are understood to be parts of a whole, but are presented as seamless, unified ideas. I'm currently reading Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie, and my friends would think I was losing my mind if I pulled one sentence from the novel, applied the concept to my life, and then altered my behavior to suit that concept. The Bible is the ONLY book that I know of that can have its nits picked without nitpicking the whole thing. Essentially, pastors are given license to go to town on the interpretation of individual passages while the validity of the entire book is never called into question.

Which leads into my next idea: Congregations have a right to know about the dubious validity of the Bible. Christians use extremely tricky arguments to get around the fact that their religion is only based on certain parts of the Bible, yet accept, in general, that the Bible is the inspired word of God. I've never understood this. Even accepting the whole idea of the "new covenant" in the New Testament (why Christians are not obligated to live under OT laws), it still doesn't explain the entirely different character of God shown in the OT vs. NT. How can it be that your God, while exhibiting agape love for his creation, simultaneously request that Abraham kill Isaac with his own hands in order to test his faith? We would be horrified if modern society required any of this sort of nonsense.

There are zillions of contradictions in the Bible that Christians ought to know about. With any other piece of information, the believer is required to put forth evidence as to why they believe, but with Christianity, there are two cop-outs: because the Bible says so and God is a supreme being and I can't possibly understand everything there is to know about God. These arguments infuriate me because they absolve the arguer of the responsibility to have actually read the Bible or to convince me in a logical manner. Christians should know that the Gospels give three varying depictions of the crucifixion story, and that they were all written at least a decade after Christ died, but they don't know and they don't care. Seriously, as a Christian, how would you refute this guy's argument?

Which leads to my next idea (don't worry, sweet reader...eventually this post will end): there are wildly differing opinions on how to interpret the Bible, so who is correct? These disputes are responsible for the vast number of denominations that exist (all of whom are, ostensibly, "right" in their own mind) and also for a mind-bending amount of conflict within a single church.

Examples from TCBC*:

Around my freshmen/sophomore year of high school, my church's youth program (Word of Life) hosted a purely-for-fun lip-sync event to get everyone involved. I was rather shy in high school, and extremely so in my church, as I constantly felt excluded, but I fought what I saw as my own social shortcomings and got together with several girls to prepare for this lip-sync. We practiced in the basement of one our lip-syncers parents houses (they had built their own soundproof studio, which we used as a rehearsal space) for hours and debated over our "costumes". We decided to lip sync to a song by a band featuring the eldest son of a previous worship leader at TCBC; I wish I remembered the exact name of the song/band, but I do not.

Suffice to say that the kid was someone everyone knew; the band was explicitly Christian, and the record was full of Christian lyrics. The song we chose was a really silly, fluffy song that was simply fun to perform (that's why we picked it!), and although technically Godless, we figured that the event was for fun and it would be a cool way to insert music that I actually liked into church (bear in mind that Christian culture is always, like, ten years behind counter-culture movements; at the time I had just discovered pop-punk and thought I had discovered the cure for cancer).

Our youth pastor thought otherwise. On the day of the event, about a half hour before it was supposed to start, he told us (all girls) that we couldn't perform in the event because the lyrics did not mention God and, furthermore, that "that kind" of music was not glorifying to God in the first place. Crushed, we chose another (lamer) song and attempted to lip-sync to it without having practiced. It was stupid, we were unprepared, and we didn't have fun.

On top of this lunacy, two boys from the youth group were allowed to lip-sync to Mississippi Squirrel Revival by Ray Stevens, which is a freaking parody of church culture.

But their song didn't have drums in it, which I guess aren't very edifying. What horrid hypocrisy.

Another good example is a small quip that a newer pastor at TCBC said during the 2008 elections. I hadn't been to TCBC in a long time before this, and was unfamiliar with the new pastor, and was shocked to hear what he said. Before beginning his sermon (I forget the topic; it must not have appealed to my sense of reason ^_^), he used some sort of anecdote and pulled in pop culture/current events. He then informed the church that the congregation should pray for all political leaders to come to Christ instead of voting because there were "no candidates" that he supported.

My parents said they did not remember him mentioning this, which just goes to show what can happen to your brain if you presuppose something to be true or someone to be an authority without ever questioning. This pastor advocated that 300 people should forsake their right to the democratic process simply because he believes that if you are not a Christian you cannot be a good politician.

And no one is disturbed by this. To me, that is the most repugnant part of all.

Christians, turn on your brains when you sit in church. You HAVE THE RIGHT to ask questions. If what is being said is really true, you will have no problem finding evidence for it. Ask things like: "how do you know?" at all times! What's the point in believing in something if you don't know the information for yourself?

4. The problem of evangelism.

Evangelism is stupid. It really, really is. Under no other circumstances can you attempt to change a person's opinion on any singular topic with no knowledge of the person you are speaking to and no need for a relationship beforehand.

At TCBC, I was taught that evangelism was part and parcel of being a Christian; that to be a Christian you must share your faith (this is called "bearing fruit", referencing the fruits of the Spirit). However, we were also taught to insulate ourselves to the outside world and only interact with people like us, so evangelism was very difficult. In a sense, I felt that it was imperative for me to talk about Jesus everywhere I went, but was also deeply terrified and misinformed about anyone who wasn't a Christian. I had to convince people to become a Christian without knowing them and without having any leverage beyond "the Bible says so" and "I just know".

The Bible was presented as the be-all, end-all basis for walking people through the conversion process. I actually attended a youth event (I was in the 8th grade) where they sent us out in pairs and we went door to door, reading from a script and attempting to get people to commit to attending church. *headdesk* Of course this method didn't work! The last thing you expect to see when you open your door is a pair of 13-year-old girls, and you certainly wouldn't be terribly convinced of their passion for Jesus as they are shaking in their boots because they are trying to push an agenda on a perfect stranger.

Christians are also really in the dark as to the the actual effects of evangelism. When I read "Things Fall Apart" in college as part of a Post-Colonial Literature course, I was floored. It deeply troubled my sense of mission work, which I always considered to be an infallible and holy work that was ordained by God (this is largely due to the rhetoric that churches use; at many events and camps, male members are strongly encouraged to see if God is "calling you into ministry"). Later, when I read "The Poisonwood Bible", I was simply disturbed. I was disturbed, of course, at the actual fallout from the missionaries, but moreso at the idea that someone utterly convinced they were doing "God's work" could bring such horrible consequences. How is that possible? Well, since being "called by God" doesn't require you to actually connect with the person you are converting, who cares? It's not the physical or the day-to-day mundane that Christians care about; they need to focus on the condition of the soul at any cost so that they can add another notch onto their Bible.

To sum it all up, I would argue that I do not attend church because church advocates some things I find morally disgusting, insulates its members from new ideas or challenging philosophies (which I inherently seek out; I value new knowledge and different opinions so that I can see what I truly believe), its leaders are not held accountable for the things they say, and the emphasis on evangelism is absurd. Naturally, this is only the tip of the iceberg; people have miles and miles of printed work on why they find the church distasteful, but these are my opinions.

I also know lots of intelligent, knowledgeable Christians that would agree with many of the things I have stated; it's quite obvious to them that a Christian would need to be well-versed in counter-arguments in order to solidify their own beliefs, or that relationships need to come well before conversion. To them, let me say that I am not attacking you or your faith, but your churches, your buildings, your Institution, your Religion.

But you already know that. You don't worship your Church, you worship God, so what I have said is no surprise to you.

And thank you to everyone that will read this or has. I appreciate your opinion!

Week 6...already?!

Wow, it is really hard to believe that we've been in the city for a solid five weeks now. Things have been pretty busy around here the past couple weeks or so (which also accounts for my MIAness). I'll just do a bunch of lists to bring everyone up to speed...who doesn't love a conveniently numbered, easy to follow list?

1. We're finding all kinds of stuff to do.

There is an overwhelming amount of free or nearly-free stuff to do in the city, and armies of people out there to meet. We have yet to get up to the farmer's market in Logan Square (reasons below), but there's that. Additionally, we discovered a strictly-hipster bar called The Whistler within walking distance of our place with free jazz on Tuesdays...and great prices on some tasty cocktails. There's also Grant Park Music Festival going on all summer, with classical, world, and indie bands...all for free!

More recently, we discovered an indie movie theater in Lincoln Park (driving or biking distance) that screens cult classics and another one in Wicker Park that screens classic horror and suspense. Finally, we are trying to plan a backpacking trip out to Rocky Mountain N'tl Park at some point, which, in addition to just being fun, falls right in line with our master plan. Muhahaha...

2. The job situation is...moving along.

I landed something, though! I am trying to maintain a sense of humility about it, as it is certainly not something I want to spend more than the summer doing. I interviewed for the job because it was advertised as a barista position, but it turns out my main objective is to stack sandwiches for absurdly long shifts. The place really believes in a trial-by-fire kind of "training"; I was hired the same day I interviewed and the next day I was behind the counter trying my best to keep up with the festival-goers at Do Division. The "training" seems to consist of verbal slaps on the wrist whenever I make mistakes, rather than proactively ensuring that I know procedures and where everything is (bothersome, but doable). However, I like my coworkers, and that's probably the best I can ask for at minimum wage.

In other news...I got an interview with ACE Tech! *insert squeals of excitement* It's only a preliminary interview, so I'm not getting overly anxious about it (if I am considered as a contender for the positions I'll almost surely have to do a demo lesson in front of administrators and the Department). Without a doubt, it is extremely daunting to be applying for a position in a field where the bulk of my experience is negative, but I am thoroughly convinced that this is something I need to do for myself. The bulk of my student teaching experience should, rationally, tell me that I have no business being in the classroom, but I know better than that. I have a sound teaching philosophy and am innovative when planning and delivering lessons; there are a multitude of reasons as to why my student teaching looked kind of like a combo Legends of the Hidden Temple gauntlet/obstacle course/deathmatch, and a significant portion had nothing to do with me.

tl;dr I'm a better teacher than my experience suggests.

Bryan is also out today for an interview with a place in Northbrook. It's a position for a staff writer who would be responsible for writing product descriptions and marketing for a company that sells eyewear, telescopes, etc. Again, not the most ideal gig, but it MUST be an improvement over the current spamming-the-world angle his current job is taking. So we'll see. We don't know how we'll manage the commute (him to Northbrook and me to the South side, provided I get the job at ACE) with only one vehicle, but as Bryan says: "we'll cross that bridge when we get there".

We're still outfitting the apartment-there are some things that are less-than-livable (like the fact that our toaster is sitting on the floor. or, to get to the closet, you have to trip over the giant air pump for the SleepNumber knockoff that takes up the entire 8" between the bed and wall. or, that we have no patio furniture to speak of. etc. etc.). But once we do, a housewarming party will be in order. :)

In the near future, we're looking forward to celebrating Kendra and Cody's wedding this weekend in Lafayette, in addition to seeing family and celebrating my parent's wedding anniversary, Father's Day, and my brother and sister's birthdays. Whew! Busy times.

To-Do Lists and Job Hunting

Well, I can safely say that this post will be a lot more mundane and a lot less insightful than the last one. I'll add more later, but I want adequate time to process and organize my thoughts.

So! The whole job-hunt thing seems to be turning into a literal endeavor. I feel like Bryan and I have been fixated, waiting by the phone like a couple of addicts, wishing that it would just ring, RING FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE WHY WON'T IT RING?! I've put in applications to about twenty different jobs (both "career" jobs and part-time stuff), and now we're in the very-painful waiting-for-callbacks phase. In the meantime, I've been frantically applying to every serving job and customer service gig I can think of, hoping that I just might get a call back today? or tomorrow? or maybe an email *refresh gmail in anticipation*?

As to the apartment, I made up a to-do list for all the things that needed doing/are done:

• Assemble shelving unit for the kitchen.
• Add extra shelves to the undershelved kitchen shelf unit.
• Assemble and level kitchen island.
• Save moneys and purchase a bed and frame (still trying to decide what to do...I may build this headboard from Ana White...a knockoff of a West Elm version that I love. But! We want something that we can use for a while instead of investing in a new one every year. Like last years' Ikea tragedy...)
• Make or DIY some sort of large-and-in-charge wall art to go over the TV (there is a large, sad, white space there currently, which I'm itching to fill with something awesome like this, but I'm still undecided).
• Make some sort of hook rail to hang hats and purses on (right now they are littering the bedroom floor, but they have nowhere to go!)
• Build a couple of side tables for the patio like these for plants/beverages to sit on.
• Eventually, replace the moronically undersized LACK side table (read: tiny square of table space) that our gargantuan TV sits on. Also possibly building it? Leaving it unfinished would match the bookcase that my dad helped me build for Bryan last V-Day.

Whew! Lots of stuff still to go. Although the apartment is entirely livable and organized, it doesn't feel finished yet. Since taking a couple of doors off (a hideous bi-fold door to the pantry that wouldn't close all the way and the door to our closet, which we couldn't open due to how close the bed is) and replacing them with curtains, the place has warmed up considerably.

I also whipped up some curtain tie-backs with some leftover fabric that I had from this project. (On a related note, my sewing machine will only do HALF of a buttonhole. I have a buttonhole presser foot attachment and have used it before successfully, but for some reason it starts with the bottom bar tack, zig-zags up the left side, and then gets caught in a weird endless loop at the top. What gives, fiendish machine? What gives?)

Mom and Melissa came up this past weekend to visit, which was nice. Unfortunately, the weather was relentless and it stormed, rained, and was chilly the entire time, which didn't give us very many options. Also, it seems that this week is when things are going to start picking up in terms of street festivals and free outdoor activities (YAY), but I'm sad that they didn't get to participate (boo, hiss). I hope trolling Milwaukee thrift stores was good enough. :)

There are lots of things going on this weekend, though. There's a reading at New Wave on Friday that we're planning on going to (as well as screenings of classic horror/sci-fi movies via Shock Theater...maybe we can make it to both?), then the Printers Row Lit Fest on Saturday and Sunday downtown, and then, finally, the much-anticipated Logan Square Farmers Market on Sunday. Yay for having a social life!...it's about time.

Why I Don't Attend Church

Yes, I know, this is quite a heavy topic for blog post No. 2, but I believe that this is something that family and friends have been curious about for a while and deserve to understand. I have many close friends and family that are very devoted Christians, and I'm sure my absenteeism is perplexing.

In the interest of space, I will be brief, so please understand that parts of this might be better suited to a frank discussion over a cup of coffee. Which I would gladly oblige, should you require more information from me.

First, a few disclaimers:

I don't hate Christians.

There is a massive distinction that needs to be made concerning the difference between Christianity as a religion and Christianity as a spiritual guide. My main gripes concern how the church at large operates, and not with its individual participants.

I realize that there are exceptions to the rule.

I know that not all churches are the same; it would be ignorant to assume such a thing. However, I do think that there are overriding concerns with the church, especially given that it is so pervasive in American culture. When I speak of "the church", I will be speaking very, very broadly of Christian culture and citing evidence from my personal experience and current events. Obviously, this is a blog and not a venue for academic research and interpretation; therefore, I reserve the right to my own opinions without having to cite every jot and tittle.

I'm not a bitter person.

Many people who know me well may be quick to point out that my experience with Christian culture in my "home church" has not been a very positive one (which I will address in more detail later) and that I shouldn't judge based on that alone. This is fair, and to that end I would respond that I don't, in fact, base my decisions on this singular factor, but on a variety of experiences. It's no secret that my experience in the church I grew up in was quite negative at times, but I hold no bitterness towards that church in general or to its members (some of whom are more responsible than others for my negative experience).

Ok! With all that being said, here are a few of the reasons I don't attend church and Anne Rice'd it out of there:

1. I find church to be a place where intolerance is condoned and tolerance is considered sinful.

I've always been considered to be a bit of a rebel (although I am, undoubtedly, one of the lamest "rebels" in the history of rebellion), and I struggled to find my place within church culture. In high school, while attending my home church, "rebelling" meant that I liked loud, non-mainstream music, non-mainstream fashion, and, my most heinous crime, had doubts about my faith. Instead of being accepted for my differences (which, in another light may have been viewed as a very unique "in" for witnessing), I was ostracized from my youth group, which eventually led me to seek other church options.

I attended this church from elementary school all the way through high school on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights; I am still amazed that after the countless hours spent investing in this youth group (and many, many trips and activities) that I did not make a single friend. I fully admit that part of this was my social anxiety and desire to be accepted (hello, teenage years!), but I also believe that there is something deeply flawed in a culture which encourages this degree of exclusivity.

Even though it states in, arguably, the most-quoted Bible verse ever that "God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten son..." I have seen, over and over again, that the Christian church only seems to "love" members within the church, and individuals outside of Christian culture are exempt from this "love". Bryan and I both remember a specific object lesson, taught in both our separate youth groups, that illustrated the danger of having secular friends; ask one person to stand on a chair, and then see which task is easier: pulling someone onto the chair with you, or being pulled off the chair. Naturally, it's much easier to pull someone off the chair (something called gravity), but this was supposed to show us that we should have Christian friends to fellowship with and to be cautious of secular influences.

I understand the premise. I really do. However, this relegated me to a very uncomfortable position: I couldn't even make friends within my church group, and "secular people" were only in existence so that I could witness to them, so what was I to do? I made secular friends. Friends from other churches. Friends more radically "Christian" than my fellow youth-group goers. This divisive nature, this "Christians vs. non-Christians" attitude is deeply troubling. Although witnessing is a key part of Christian culture, this is an entirely ineffective strategy. How are Christians to influence other people (and lead them to Christ), while condemning their lifestyle or clothes or language or situation or...?

At least consider this: look around when you're in church. Who is in your congregation? Does it reflect that witnessing is reaching a diverse group of people? Are there people in the pews with different colored skin? Piercings? Tattoos? Rich, poor and in-between? People with different interests, ideas, and beliefs? Or does church just reinforce your own identity and way of being?

When was the last time you sought out a relationship with someone of differing opinion?

2. Christian culture refuses to grapple with the hate in its past (and current hate).

One of the pillars of Christianity is that, ostensibly, God never changes. However, this Christian God, who remains the same throughout the ages, is also responsible for the moral imperative behind witch hunts, the Crusades, anti-Semitism, and, more recently, Islamaphobia. History is a very, very good reminder of the abuses of the church, yet Christians seems content in a blissful ignorance of the hurt they have caused in Christ's name. When taken to task for these abuses, Christians are willing to admit that these events are the result of misinterpretations of God's word, but no one is presently guilty of the same behavior.

During the Civil Rights movement, Christians used the Bible as evidence that interracial marriage was an abomination (today we would find this rather preposterous), yet some modern theologians deny these similarities to the Gay Rights movement. Whatever banner the Church is currently flying is assumed to be undeniably correct and God-ordained, while past grievances are quickly swept under the rug. To be effective, I would contend that the Christian church needs to air these grievances and think critically about what these incidents say about Christian culture and mans' fallibility.

*As this post has grown rather lengthy, I will expand this to separate entries. More to come in the future! I hope readers will recognize that I have attempted to take a stab at this topic with dignity and caution; if I have offended, I apologize in advance.

**Also, it bears noting that many of these ideas were inspired by a recent read by Hemant Mehta of Friendly Atheist fame called "I Sold My Soul on eBay: Viewing Faith through an Atheist's Eyes". Although all of the above is my own opinion, I have been wanting to air them in a public space after reading his provocative and insightful book (which is a great read for all Christian churchgoers).

Firsts!

Hello! Welcome! Hi! Greetings! Hola! Salutations!

Whatever. Welcome to the first blog post of Shades That Matter, the arbitrarily named depository for updates about life in fantastic, occasionally-to-rarely sunny Chicago (as well as random observations and musings).

A lot of people have been wondering how things have been going for us since the move, and the answer is, enthusiastically, "pretty darn good". Even though we've only been here about a week and a half, the place is really starting to feel like home. We're happy here. The past week or so has been a lot of time and effort spent getting the apartment to a livable standard, and it's finally finished as of today.

Thank goodness. Not knowing where the measuring cups, printer cartridges, or my underwear were was driving me crazy.

Needless to say, moving into a smaller apartment instead of a larger one had its challenges. A lot of our stuff is crammed into our storage space, including some small pieces of furniture, extra clothes that are out of season, and, most tragically, The Boy's drumset. Unfortunately, space simply will not allow him to practice in the apartment (unless more rearranging is in order. Hint: NOT happening). We've both had to make sacrifices as to what we need and what can be stored, but what we have is feeling pretty good at the moment.

I know some people want pictures of the apartment, and, eventually, there will be, but for now you'll have to be content with pictures of Buster getting comfortable in every place but where he should.

He likes hanging out in the closet amidst my t-shirts. :P

As far as jobs are concerned, we're both still looking. I've applied to several charter schools in the city, as well as a handful of serving jobs. I had an interview with Specialty's yesterday morning for a position as a baker, which would be perfect for me! I mean, c'mon...I would get to wake up at 2 a.m. every morning and then sink my hands into yeast bread dough until noon. Torture? Sounds like heaven to me.

At least I have prospects, which is more than I can say for The Boy, who has been struggling the past week or so. Seriously, someone give this guy a job; it seems as his job sinks into pointlessness and out-right dirty Internet dealing, jobs vaporize in the city. There MUST be resources for people who can read, write, speak, and edit like a pro, but sadly he hasn't been able to find them. Not getting the Groupon job was just stupid...

To finalize, here's a (short) list of stuff we've done so far:

1. Stanley's Fruit and Vegetables: Fantastic find. The Boy used to go here all the time when he lived in Ukie Village, and now I know why. Fantastically priced, good quality produce. Weirdly enough, this is one part of our budget that will go down instead of up, AND I will be able to cook a much greater variety of meals involving fresh produce. We are currently working through a toddler-sized bag of spinach (I am not kidding that bag is gigantic) in our fridge.
2. Lula Cafe: This is going to be our kryptonite, I can tell. Delicious, inventive meals that are hearty and fresh. I will definitely be going back, as soon as I get that big-money baking or teaching gig.
3. New Wave Coffee: Our go-to coffee shop in our neighborhood, selling delightful Metropolis Coffee.

Next week, we hope to go see some free jazz at The Whistler, maybe grab a drink at Estelle's. We'll get more involved with the community and nightlife as we get settled. Also, apartment tour pics imminent.

Here's Buster again, on the TV: